iamtheperfectpervert:

I had Sex in Thailand

by Donards Kim Tanedo

There are three things about Thailand that I will never forget.

So, I was in Bangkok for 4 days and I really believe it was enough for me to get along with and find my way through Thailand’s tapestry, I guess. What made this trip so special is that it was my first time to ever ride an airplane and to travel overseas. It felt so good being on top- seeing the cottony clouds from that little window. I am just so happy that this was for a very meaningful purpose and a wonderful experience at that. I can’t hide the excitement building up in me. I was really looking forward to visit the famous floating market, ride an elephant, and watch a Thai cultural show.

            The moment I, together with my dear professors: Dr. Teresita Valde, Dr. Clarissa Maguyon, and Dr. Dulce Raneses, landed, Thai’s breeze embraced me right away as if it was welcoming me to a new journey. Even if our purpose was to present our individual researches in front of an international audience, of course we were always thrilled for fun.

Finally, we arrived at our hotel and as I entered my room, the place just enveloped me right away. I was checking the place out when I saw a small tray filled with 3 cans of beer, 2 packs of mixed nuts, one roll of toilet paper, and… a box of condoms. –Well I felt excited about this, but I really can’t be too excited, can I?  

There are things about Thailand that have given me an escape from the Philippine dream. Everything seemed so peaceful. Verdant fields and irrigations were everywhere and the abundance of sunrays gave me that balmy feeling. I was surprised to know that Bangkok’s esteros and lowland rivers were a natural habitat for small crocodiles and some snakes- this really left me with awe. Every corner and street served as meticulous stitches that show what Thailand really is like with every feel.

We went to a special place called Samutprakarn. This was Thai’s version of our own Nayong Pilipino. I was enjoying every bit of sight while riding in a right-hand-driven van. There were temples that seemed to point itself towards the sky, giant buddhas, long staircases, mysterious faces carved from a drift wood, and pretty much everything that Thailand has to offer.

Tasting Thailand’s flavor made my tastebuds go on a swirl and scream for more, water. Authentic Thai dishes are certainly one of a kind. Not only will it give your tongue one heck of a spin, but also make your sweat parade down your spine. So the food was really spicy alright, nevertheless, really good. I mean, where else in the world would you see finely ground ginger sprinkled all over, halves of red chili peppers inside meat balls, black peppers still branched altogether, wild mushroom and water lilies in your soup, and much of the sensation one’s tongue would burn from.

One thing that I am really thankful about Thailand is its people. Thais are really accommodating and friendly. They can really spill out some of the funniest punch lines I have ever heard of, though they can really be bashful and permissive most of the time. I made some new friends and really enjoyed their company. I have experienced genuine Thai massage. I can still recall how the masseur gave my bones and muscles a stretch it can never forget, and believe me, 300 bahts (equivalent to P400-500) is all worth it.  

 

Alas, the last day of the conference had come and I was left with no choice but to pack up my things and head on to the airport. The other days ended just like any ordinary day under the Thai sun. Everything was moving. I even felt my heart skipped a beat.

There were things that I’ve planned to do yet come undone. I didn’t had the chance to feel the busy floating market, the elephant camp were several kilometers away from where I was standing, the Thai cultural show was too expensive. So maybe this is really Thailand’s way of telling me that I really need to come back.

And with the box of condoms still in the tray and unused… Thailand gave me the pleasure I can never forget…

I hooked up with its food. I kissed its people. I made love with its culture.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THIS KID WHAT “SEX” MEANS.

Or how to properly write with ambiguity. This is baaaaaaaaaaaad word play.

Calling the experience of enjoying Thailand as having sex with it is just, ugh, tasteless and shameless wordplay! UGH. I understand the intent to romanticize (kiss… made love… keme keme…) but summing it all up as “having sex in Thailand” is NAIVE. Someone obviously isn’t gettin’ some. This kid needs to get laid. Seriously, someone give him some. Stat.